Wednesday, 2 May 2018

The Abandoned School

           The Abandoned School
On a sunny day with a few showers of raindrops.Everybody at  Tamaki primary was talking about the
“ The Abandoned School”. everybody was just doing their work.A student was thinking about going there
after school two people agree to go with him.It was the time to go home but the three students was at
“ The Abandoned School” their were a mist coming this way towards them.

They jump over the gate,they have  pack them self supplies that they need.They have a made a
grave ( It means bad) mistake they enter to the school it was misty inside the school.
The other student left the group exploring the school,he shouted the noise went across the hall.
They saw someone walking up the hallway the lights was turning off and on,they have to frantically run
but they got caught and drag them along  the hallway and never been seen again.
The End


  1. Hi Hazel,

    What a wonderful quick write! You have managed to get four of the target words in your writing and you have had some really wonderful ideas. If this was an extended writing lesson we would edit this, but because it is a quick write we leave it at it's first draft. Remember grave means something is very serious and often bad, but you used it well when you described the mistake the students made in visiting the school. Was it Pt England by any chance? :O

  2. Hi Hazel ,

    I really like the descriptive words you have used in your story ,
    I also would use that title because it connects to the story ,
    Maybe next time you could check your punctuation and to put the capital and non capital letters in the right place.

    Good work